By Danielle Berrios

All images captured by Devon Carlo with Devon Rae Photography

Evelyn is our first surprise baby, so it took us both the first couple months adjusting to the idea of having a third baby, and we were both surprised again when we learned a little girl would be joining our family. My pregnancy was difficult at first and at one point we thought we had lost her. Seeing and hearing her heart beat on the ultrasound was surreal after thinking that I had miscarried again. After that, at about 10 weeks, I got on progesterone cream my midwife recommended and the pregnancy went really well from then on. We were still very cautious, but so thankful she was healthy and so was I.

My parents came to town on June 24, 2020, because we were all so sure she was coming early like her brother Isaiah. Well, we waited and waited. I went to see the pelvic floor specialist, Landy Peek, and the chiropractor trying to encourage labor but nothing happened. So, we waited some more. We worked on home improvement projects and played canasta and walked a 5k on the 4th of July, and still nothing. I questioned my faith in my body and my ability to birth a baby even though I’ve done it twice before. I wrestled with God over having control and wanting her to come on my time.

On July 8, 2020, I prayed God’s will be done and told Him that she could come whenever He wanted her to. My water started leaking at 2 am on the 9th, and I had contractions every 30 min that only lasted 15 seconds long the whole next day. I tried to rest and relax most of the day. Liz Derry, my midwife came at 11am to check Evelyn’s heart rate and my vitals and my friend Alissa came over for a play date to help distract me. Alissa braided my hair in warrior braids so I would be ready for battle. My Mom, Alissa and I enjoyed the day together and Liz came for another check up in the afternoon and Evelyn’s vitals and everything was great.

My dad had finished the last of the major home improvement projects that morning. We joked how Evelyn was just waiting for all the major projects to be finished before she made her debut. Josh got home at five and we went about our normal evening. At 8pm I laid down with our boys to put them to sleep and prayed deep rest over them so that I wouldn’t wake them during labor. I knew she was coming that night. My husband and I went for a half mile walk up and down the street. I had several stronger contractions. It was really nice to have sometime just us to talk and to reflect and connect. When got back home, at almost 9 pm, I showered and tried to go to sleep.

By 10 pm the contractions had picked up to every ten minutes and lasting a full minute. I waited to have five in a row before I woke up Josh and texted the Liz and our photographer, Devon. Josh started filling pool at about 11pm. I tried to lay back down and rest, but the contractions were too strong. I heard some noise on our patio window and realized the wind was about to blow our patio tent away. In between contractions, Josh and I went out in the wind and took the cover off the tent so it wouldn’t fly away. When we came back inside, I lit some candles and started the oil defuser. Josh started the crock pot, and I wrote a little welcome home sign for Evelyn. We snuggled and talked in the kitchen between contractions, waiting for our birth team to get to the house. I woke up my mom and told her it was time. Liz, her assistant Daryl, and Devon got to our house at around 12:30 am. We were still filling the pool when contractions picked up much closer together maybe 3 minutes apart. I leaned against the counter for each wave and Liz, my mom or Josh applied hip squeezes to help me through. The lights were very dim and it helped me focus on the waves of contractions and the short lull between them. Josh was boiling water on the stove, checking temperatures and getting the water just right. We added the water from the crock pot to the pool as well.

The contractions were about two minutes apart. I went the bathroom, and then threw up in the sink. I knew this meant I was going into transition. I said to Josh as he was rubbing my back after, “this is much better than the hospital, at least I get to puke in my own sink.” I walked back into the kitchen and Josh went to use the restroom. The water pressure suddenly changed and the hose went flying out of the pool splashing Liz and everyone else. It was hilarious. Everyone was laughing as we got it under control. Josh came back and Liz asked if we wanted to pray. We gathered together and Josh prayed for peace, wisdom and strength before we got in the pool. I had one more strong contraction, Josh got into the water and then helped me in as well. Once we were both in the water, I had a small break for about 3 minutes where my whole body felt at rest against my husband's chest as I leaned on him. We joked about being lobsters as they added more boiling water and then scooped some out because the water level was a little too high.

As the waves crashed over me, I leaned against the side of the pool on my knees with my legs and hips as wide as I could. I had a couple contractions that I felt pressure weighing down and my body pushed a little so I pushed with them and tried my best to breath. My mom helped me with the tray as I puked again and she encouraged me to rinse my mouth so I would feel better. The contractions were only about 30 second apart. The pressure in the contractions changed and I felt pain against my pubic bone area. I reached down to see if I could feel her head and I felt what felt like moss on a rock about the size of a quarter. I knew Evelyn was coming, but I would have to push harder. Something didn’t feel right though during my next contractions. I felt like she was stuck. I began to doubt myself and fear crept in. I told everyone we might need a plan B, because something wasn’t right. After the contraction passed, I was breathing heavy and I was afraid so I said, “we might need an ambulance guys.” Then I said, “I’m scared” and once I verbally recognized my fear and acknowledged my emotions it wasn’t as powerful anymore.

Another contraction hit and it was painful again on my pubic bone area. Josh and my mom encouraged me and told me all of the birth affirmations I had been listening to for months in preparation. I thought I might pass out. I threw up again, and I said something to Liz about having talked to my pelvic floor specialist about cervical lips and how encountering it was one of my fears. Liz told me exactly what she was going to do and then she reached down into the water on the next contraction and lifted up and pushed in on my lower belly. It hurt at first, but it helped so much to move Evelyn down. I felt her head about the diameter of a golf ball. Liz helped me through three contractions as my husband did hip squeezes behind me in the pool. My mom rubbed my arm and they were all so calm and encouraging. I told Liz I might want to try to stand up to get her to come down more. I meant squatting in the pool, but I couldn’t put it into words. I tried to rest for a moment against Josh but the contractions were too close together. I remembered raising my voice and saying, “no, no, no” as I scrambled off his comfortable chest and back onto my knees against the pool to ride out the wave. It wasn’t until later that I realized I was saying no to the squatting idea. I didn’t trust in my ability to hold the squatting position even in the water. I was deep in labor land.

As the heavy waves crashed over me, I remembered my favorite verse and said, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Another wave crashed. I felt like I might drown the contractions were almost constant. I felt again and I couldn’t feel her head. My heart sank. I cried out, “I can’t feel her!” I was devastated in that moment, but everyone calmly reminded me that she was right there and coming soon. I remembered my mom saying, “she is so close.” Josh whispered to me, “God made your body to do this, just trust God and our baby.” I was still afraid though. I remembered the words God had told me in a dream several days before, “you’re going to have to go through the big waves if you want her out.” I thought to myself, I am the only one who can do this, and I am going to have to push harder. Martina McBride’s song, “In My Daughter’s Eyes” came on. The contractions were coming one right after the other. My body was pushing. I said, “Ah, ring of fire.” Her head was part of the way out, just above her eyes and I said, “she’s stuck” as I struggled to get oxygen in my lungs. My mom reminded me to breath her out. Josh felt her head as I pushed again and the rest of her head came out. Liz told Josh exactly what he would need to do as Evelyn came out. It was so dark no one could see anything so Liz tried to reach down to make sure her whole head was out as I said again, “she’s stuck.” Daryl suggested I wiggle my hips. I was almost to the point of passing out from pushing. I wiggled my hips back and forth and her shoulders and body came out right into her Daddy's steady hands and he passed her to me between my legs. I looked down and I saw her beautiful face beneath the water. I slowly lifted her to the surface and against my belly. I tried to pull her up a little higher, but her cord was very short.

The song My Girl by The Temptations came on and it was so perfect. I had just been dancing to that song an hour earlier and everything happened so fast. I leaned against Josh and stared at her beautiful face as I caught my breath and Josh kissed my head. He completely held me up so Evelyn would be above the water against my belly. I felt weightless and so happy that it was over and I had survived. We survived. I said, “oh I can feel that birth high feeling now.” It was so perfect just resting in the water. Evelyn was tired too, she looked up at me, and then it was like she was so comfortable she was going to go back to sleep against my belly. I birthed the placenta and we put it in the bag so that Josh could take Evelyn and hold her while I got out of the pool. I was very weak, but my Mom and Liz steadied me and helped me down the hall back to the bedroom. Liz checked me to make sure I didn’t have any tearing, because while I was in the pool, I thought there might have been. I was physically exhausted. They got me settled into the bed and Josh passed Evelyn back to me to try to nurse. Daryl and Liz helped me to get her latched. I ended up having to side lay nurse for it to work. The after-birth contractions were painful, but such a blessing that God created our bodies to heal after birth on their own.

P.S.

Something else I remembered later was how one of my favorite songs from my childhood helped me through her labor, it’s called Midnight Oil by Philip Craig and Dean.

Otero Birth